The holidays can be magical twinkling lights, hot cocoa, hugs (consensual, hopefully) but let’s be honest: they can also be a stress-triggering dumpster fire of overspending, overstimulation, and unrealistic expectations.
If your nervous system is gearing up for survival mode, you’re not alone. The good news? You don’t need to white-knuckle your way through December. With a few DBT-, ACT-, and CBT-based skills, plus the right tools, you can move through this season with more calm, connection, and control.
Let’s break it down.
1. Check the Facts: Are You Reacting to the Past or the Present?
Straight from DBT’s emotion regulation module, “Check the Facts” helps you pause and ask:
- What actually happened?
- What emotion am I feeling?
- Does my emotion fit the facts, or am I reacting to an assumption, fear, or past wound?
Example: You’re dreading Christmas dinner because last year turned into a passive-aggressive wine-fueled monologue from your aunt. This year might be different. Or not. But either way you’re responding to the memory more than the current situation.
Tool Tip: For real-time processing, try a mood-tracking tool like the Mood Tracker Journal to identify patterns and triggers over the season.
2. Use the TIPP Skill to Regulate High-Intensity Emotions
When you’re in full emotional flood (heart racing, chest tight, brain fried), DBT’s TIPP skills are your go-to emergency kit:
Temperature: Splash cold water on your face or hold an ice pack over your eyes and cheeks for 30 seconds. This activates the dive reflex, calming the body fast.
→ Try this: Cooling Gel Eye Mask
Intense exercise: Run up the stairs, do jumping jacks, or shake it out for 60 seconds.
Paced breathing: Inhale 4, exhale 6 slower breathing lowers arousal.
Progressive muscle relaxation: Tense and release each muscle group to reset your system.
Pro-Tip: Keep the Pinch Me Therapy Dough nearby for grounding through scent and touch.
3. Create a Cozy Coping Corner
When the world feels overstimulating, having a designated self-soothe zone helps your nervous system return to baseline.
Your DIY Coping Corner:
- Bearaby Weighted Blanket pressure-based regulation
- Brown Noise Sound Machine blocks chaos
- Pop Craze Fuzzy Socks tactile comfort
- Clever Fox Gratitude Journal positive focus
- Essential Oils Set – Benatu engage your olfactory system
- A favorite workbook like The DBT Workbook for Emotional Relief
Even 10 minutes in this space can help bring down cortisol and reset your mood.
4. Use Mindfulness, Not Just Meditation
Mindfulness doesn’t mean becoming a zen robot. It means paying attention to the present moment without judgment, something ACT emphasizes as central to psychological flexibility.
Try This: SENSORY RESET Ritual (S.I.P.)
Inspired by somatic and DBT grounding techniques, the S.I.P. Method helps interrupt overwhelm by activating multiple sensory channels in a fast, embodied way:
S – Soothe with Sensation
Engage one sense with intention: cold, scent, texture, pressure.
Rub a Worry Stone, press your palms into a warm mug, or use aromatherapy dough.
I – Inhale with Awareness
Take one deep, conscious breath not a performance breath, a present one. Feel it in your ribs, shoulders, or belly. No need to fix it.
Bonus: Use an Essential Oil Roller to pair scent with breath for anchoring.
P – Plant Your Body
Press your feet into the floor. Feel your spine. Get into your body’s gravity. Wiggle toes. Shift weight. Reclaim your physical presence.
5. Practice Opposite Action (When the Emotion Doesn’t Fit)
From DBT’s emotion regulation playbook, Opposite Action is for when you’re experiencing an emotion that doesn’t serve you in the moment.
Example: You’re feeling intense anger because your brother showed up 45 minutes late again. You want to yell or shut down but that won’t help. Instead:
- Acknowledge the anger
- Choose to act opposite (calm voice, open posture, kindness)
- Engage in aligned behavior (e.g., offer him a plate without commentary)
Feeling low energy and disconnected? Try movement-based opposite action with the Weighted Hula Hoop or Mini Fitness Trampoline to shake out freeze-mode and boost dopamine.
6. Protect Your Energy with Digital Boundaries
Holiday stress isn’t just in your living room, it’s in your inbox, your Instagram feed, and those chaotic family group chats.
Use ACT’s principle of values-based living: ask, “Does checking this thread help me live in alignment with the kind of holiday I want to have?”
If not, set tech limits:
- Silence or exit group chats
- Schedule “digital detox” hours
- Switch to grayscale to reduce mindless scrolling
Try JBL Tune Wireless Headphones and queue up calming playlists, white noise, or guided meditations instead.
7. Externalize Your Support System
Use physical tools to keep your skills close and your mindset centered:
- DBT Cards for Coping Skills great for travel or in-the-moment grounding
- WorryLess Deck CBT-style card prompts to interrupt cognitive spirals
- Anxiety Journal – 60-Day Check-In track triggers, insights, and goals
Pro-Tip: Preload coping cards before high-stress events. One side = trigger (e.g., “Uncle Jerry starts talking politics”), the other = skill (“Radical acceptance + paced breathing + excuse to take a walk”).
8. Reconnect with Your Values
Finally, when you feel off-course, ACT encourages you to choose the next step toward your values even if it’s uncomfortable.
Ask yourself:
- “What matters most to me this season?”
- “What kind of person do I want to be when things get tough?”
Then choose one micro-action that reflects that text to a friend, a five-minute walk, a kind word, a quiet no.
Try The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris for more ACT strategies to cut through chaos and reconnect with meaning.
Final Thoughts
Stress during the holidays is common but it doesn’t have to control you. With the right psychological tools and just a few thoughtfully chosen supports, you can build a season that feels more like you present, empowered, and intentional.
And if all else fails? Deep breath. Ice mask. Weighted blanket. Start again. You got this.
