The holidays can be a brutal combo of twinkly lights and emotional landmines. If you live with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) — or just feel things deeply — this time of year might stir up:
- Emotional overwhelm and shame spirals
- Family tension, guilt, or passive-aggressive chaos
- Loneliness that feels like rejection
- The urge to rage text someone… or disappear completely
You don’t need to white-knuckle your way through it. These six books offer real, compassionate tools to help you stay grounded, connected, and calm(ish) through the chaos.
💡 All links are affiliate links — I only recommend what I genuinely believe can help.
1. The DBT Workbook for Emotional Relief – Sheri Van Dijk
Best for: Emotional overwhelm and shutdown mode
A gentle, beginner-friendly workbook that walks you through DBT-based techniques for calming your system, labeling feelings, and avoiding holiday meltdowns. Less “fix yourself,” more “let’s get through this moment together.”
2. DBT Explained – Suzette Bray
Best for: Learning how DBT actually works (without needing a therapist or dictionary)
Yes, I wrote this one. And no, it’s not the only great book on DBT — but it is designed for people who want clarity without clinical coldness. It breaks down emotional regulation, distress tolerance, and mindfulness into something real-world and readable.
3. Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself – Kristin Neff
Best for: Inner critic overload and holiday shame spirals
If the voice in your head gets crueler around this time of year — especially after a fight or a meltdown — this book shows how self-compassion isn’t weakness. It’s what keeps you from imploding.
4. The DBT Workbook for Anxiety – Liz Corpstein
Best for: Social anxiety, family pressure, or perfectionist spirals
Worried about saying the wrong thing, being too much, or not being enough? This DBT-based workbook teaches you how to sit with discomfort, calm your body, and get through hard social moments without self-destructing.
5. ACT with Anxiety – Richard Sears
Best for: Letting go of control and finding peace when emotions don’t “make sense”
This ACT workbook doesn’t ask you to fix your feelings — it teaches you how to stop fighting them. It’s perfect if you tend to panic about panicking, or spiral because you can’t “get it together.” (Hi, welcome to the holidays.)
6. The Radical Acceptance Workbook – Ava Walters
Best for: When you’re done fighting reality — but still hurting inside
This workbook helps you stop clinging to how things “should” be — your family, your relationships, your feelings — and start finding peace with what is. Based on mindfulness and compassion, it teaches how to let go of resistance so you can stop suffering over things you can’t control (hi again, holidays).
🔧 How to Use These Books (Don’t Just Collect Them)
You don’t need to read cover to cover. Try this instead:
- Pick one chapter or section that matches what you’re feeling
- Use them like emotional flashcards — highlight, dog-ear, revisit
- Pair your book with a sensory regulation tool (cooling mask, headphones, movement) to help body + mind work together
🛒 Bonus: Tools That Help in the Moment
(Also affiliate links — I only recommend what actually works.)
- 🧊 Cooling Gel Eye Mask – for intense emotion and distress tolerance (TIP skill)
- 🎧 JBL Over-Ear Headphones – for grounding music or sensory breaks
- 🌀 Weighted Hula Hoop – for moving through rage or panic
- 📿 528Hz Breathing Meditation Necklace – for mindful breathwork when you need to pause before that text
💬 Final Thoughts
This season doesn’t have to break you — and it doesn’t have to define you either. Whether you’re overwhelmed, heart-hurting, or rage-text-ready, these resources can help you meet your emotions with skill instead of shame.
✨ You deserve to get through this without losing yourself.
