The holidays can be magical — twinkling lights, hot cocoa, hugs (consensual, hopefully) — but let’s be honest: they can also be a stress-triggering dumpster fire of overspending, overstimulation, and unrealistic expectations.
If your nervous system is gearing up for survival mode, you’re not alone. The good news? You don’t need to white-knuckle your way through December. With a few DBT-, ACT-, and CBT-based skills, plus the right tools, you can move through this season with more calm, connection, and control.
Let’s break it down.
🧠 1. Check the Facts: Are You Reacting to the Past or the Present?
Straight from DBT’s emotion regulation module, “Check the Facts” helps you pause and ask:
- What actually happened?
- What emotion am I feeling?
- Does my emotion fit the facts, or am I reacting to an assumption, fear, or past wound?
Example: You’re dreading Christmas dinner because last year turned into a passive-aggressive wine-fueled monologue from your aunt. This year might be different. Or not. But either way, you’re responding to the memory more than the current situation.
✨ Tool Tip: For real-time processing, try a mood-tracking tool like the Mood Tracker Journal to identify patterns and triggers over the season.
❄️ 2. Use the TIPP Skill to Regulate High-Intensity Emotions
When you’re in full emotional flood (heart racing, chest tight, brain fried), DBT’s TIPP skills are your go-to emergency kit:
- Temperature: Splash cold water on your face or hold an ice pack over your eyes and cheeks for 30 seconds. This activates the dive reflex, calming the body fast.
→ Try this: Cooling Gel Eye Mask - Intense exercise: Run up the stairs, do jumping jacks, or shake it out for 60 seconds.
- Paced breathing: Inhale 4, exhale 6 — slower breathing lowers arousal.
- Progressive muscle relaxation: Tense and release each muscle group to reset your system.
🧊 Pro-Tip: Keep the Pinch Me Therapy Dough nearby for grounding through scent and touch.
🌿 3. Create a Cozy Coping Corner
When the world feels overstimulating, having a designated self-soothe zone helps your nervous system return to baseline.
Your DIY Coping Corner:
- Bearaby Weighted Blanket — pressure-based regulation
- Brown Noise Sound Machine — blocks chaos
- Pop Craze Fuzzy Socks — tactile comfort
- Clever Fox Gratitude Journal — positive focus
- Essential Oils Set – Benatu — engage your olfactory system
- A favorite workbook like The DBT Workbook for Emotional Relief
Even 10 minutes in this space can help bring down cortisol and reset your mood.
🧘 4. Use Mindfulness, Not Just Meditation
Mindfulness doesn’t mean becoming a zen robot. It means paying attention to the present moment without judgment — something ACT emphasizes as central to psychological flexibility.
Try This: SENSORY RESET Ritual (S.I.P.)
Inspired by somatic and DBT grounding techniques, the S.I.P. Method helps interrupt overwhelm by activating multiple sensory channels in a fast, embodied way:
S – Soothe with Sensation
Engage one sense with intention — cold, scent, texture, pressure.
🧊 Rub a Worry Stone, press your palms into a warm mug, or use aromatherapy dough.
I – Inhale with Awareness
Take one deep, conscious breath — not a performance breath, a present one. Feel it in your ribs, shoulders, or belly. No need to fix it.
🧘 Bonus: Use an Essential Oil Roller to pair scent with breath for anchoring.
P – Plant Your Body
Press your feet into the floor. Feel your spine. Get into your body’s gravity. Wiggle toes. Shift weight. Reclaim your physical presence.
🌀 5. Practice Opposite Action (When the Emotion Doesn’t Fit)
From DBT’s emotion regulation playbook, Opposite Action is for when you’re experiencing an emotion that doesn’t serve you in the moment.
Example: You’re feeling intense anger because your brother showed up 45 minutes late again. You want to yell or shut down — but that won’t help. Instead:
- Acknowledge the anger
- Choose to act opposite (calm voice, open posture, kindness)
- Engage in aligned behavior (e.g., offer him a plate without commentary)
🔁 Feeling low energy and disconnected? Try movement-based opposite action with the Weighted Hula Hoop or Mini Fitness Trampoline to shake out freeze-mode and boost dopamine.
🔌 6. Protect Your Energy with Digital Boundaries
Holiday stress isn’t just in your living room — it’s in your inbox, your Instagram feed, and those chaotic family group chats.
Use ACT’s principle of values-based living: ask, “Does checking this thread help me live in alignment with the kind of holiday I want to have?”
If not, set tech limits:
- Silence or exit group chats
- Schedule “digital detox” hours
- Switch to grayscale to reduce mindless scrolling
🎧 Try JBL Tune Wireless Headphones and queue up calming playlists, white noise, or guided meditations instead.
📚 7. Externalize Your Support System
Use physical tools to keep your skills close and your mindset centered:
- DBT Cards for Coping Skills — great for travel or in-the-moment grounding
- WorryLess Deck — CBT-style card prompts to interrupt cognitive spirals
- Anxiety Journal – 60-Day Check-In — track triggers, insights, and goals
Pro-Tip: Preload coping cards before high-stress events. One side = trigger (e.g., “Uncle Jerry starts talking politics”), the other = skill (“Radical acceptance + paced breathing + excuse to take a walk”).
💡 8. Reconnect with Your Values
Finally, when you feel off-course, ACT encourages you to choose the next step toward your values — even if it’s uncomfortable.
Ask yourself:
- “What matters most to me this season?”
- “What kind of person do I want to be when things get tough?”
Then choose one micro-action that reflects that — a text to a friend, a five-minute walk, a kind word, a quiet no.
✨ Try The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris for more ACT strategies to cut through chaos and reconnect with meaning.
💬 Final Thoughts
Stress during the holidays is common — but it doesn’t have to control you. With the right psychological tools and just a few thoughtfully chosen supports, you can build a season that feels more like you — present, empowered, and intentional.
And if all else fails? Deep breath. Ice mask. Weighted blanket. Start again.
You got this.
